It's been years since I last stepped near here. The feeling is pretty nostalgic. I remember hiding at the next building trying to look out if your dad was around. Why was I hiding? I don't know if you remember. You had flunked your accounts paper and was afraid that your dad might find out about it through the result slip that the school sent. So you told me to retrieve it before your dad gets a hold of it. It was an experience as I was pretty nervous running this errand for you. Besides I'm not even your boyfriend yet. Haha
And so I hide at the next building with your mailbox key and a photo of your dad. Taking a peep at your Dad's photo each time somebody walk towards the mailbox. As soon as the coast was clear, I ran towards the mailbox with the key in my hand. Opened up the mailbox, grab hold of the result slip and quickly ran back.
Well there was something you didn't know. I actually fell and hurt my knee while running like a madman out on bail from the asylum. I didn't tell you because you were already busy studying for your supplementary papers and you being the "I feel so bad" person.
I guess at that point of time I would do anything or get you anything that you want and all you have to do is ask. I remembered there was once you wanted a Fila bag so much that I had to beg my mom to give me my advance allowance so I can get you one. And it turned out that I bought the wrong one. But you were appreciative and somehow that made me love you more.
You were the first person I wrote a song for, the first person I made chocolates roses for, the person who was there to wipe my tears when my dad pass on.
I guess those were just memories of the past. And now here I am sitting at the void deck of your old house. It feels weird. Looking at the mailbox and the lift where we first kissed. A kiss which till today still remains pretty significant to me. Why? Because I actually had a few rehearsal before attempting to kiss you. Yeah I did. I know there was saliva flying everywhere and you even had a tiny bubble spat into my mouth... Ok too much details... But those were sweet memories I guess.
Sometimes thinking back I really wish things were easier but guess it's not. Perhaps we were not meant to be together. I still keep your letters though. All your doraemons are still intact in my cupboard.
Anyway it's time to leave... Got tons to do... I don't think I will ever come here again... Or maybe I will... We will see...
I still miss you...

Regards
Ak1ra

Yes this might be another emo post of mine. Perhaps i had a bit too much to drink awhile ago. Drinking never seems to bring me much joy nowadays. Looking at my friends settling down sometimes makes me wonder where have the old me went to. Like most normal people i used to fantasize about settling down with the love of my life, own a love nest of our own and perhaps have a few kids... go for a holiday whenever the school holidays arrive. Like what my dad used to do. But i guess all these so called ambitions had already gone with the wind after one unforgivable decision i made about a year plus ago. 

Although i have been told by my close friends that if i want it back bad enough, all i had to do is to take the first step... but instead of doing that i decided to just go for any random relationship i can land myself in. And end up hurting the other party after i realized that things are just not the same. My friend told me that the greatest mistake i made a year plus ago was not the fact that i was seeing somebody else behind my girl's back but the fact that i was too honest. He said i could have just calm myself down and perhaps then i can make a decision more rationally. Instead of pursuing something which was just a fantasy of a late loved one... Yeah i can be such a fool sometimes... correction... most of the time...

Anyway it's pretty depressing to learn about all the bad things that are happening to some of my friend's marriage. Cheating seems to be the latest trend in my social circle. I seen couples whom i think were perfect together, filing for divorce as either party was cheating behind the party's back. Or friends having an affair with married man/woman, either married or not married themselves. i do see my future wife cheating behind my back if i ever get married. Karma my friend is a real deal for people like me. Karma as in retribution and not your primary school indian classmate. Or am i thinking too much? Whatever it is, marriage is pretty different compare to my parent's time. Divorce or having an affair seems to be the best escape to a dying relationship whereas during my parents days there was such a thing call compromise. They may not see eye to eye on certain things but at the end of the day they will always try to compromise.

But on a happy note, i do have friends who are happily married. Knowing their existence makes me feel that marriage can't be all that bad. There's bound to be some happiness in it. Like a coin, there's always two side of a story.

Whatever it is... i still believe that one day someday if i can or if i may, i will return to the place where the sun sets and perhaps face my destiny once more. But... there's always a chance which i will never get to do that... Well who knows what the future holds...

Good night people... or rather good morning...

Before i end this...

When you decide to give up on a relationship, give yourself 30 seconds to think back on the reasons why you got into the relationship in the first place...

My biggest mistake was that i failed to give myself 30 seconds to think...